Fashion Fatality Report #1: This Week's Style Deaths
A new weekly column about things that make fashion look like a joke.
"You gotta have style. It helps you get down the stairs. It helps you get up in the morning. It's a way of life. Without it, you're nobody. I'm not talking about lots of clothes." - Diana Vreeland
Dearest Readers,
Every week I’ll be going through the depths of the internet so that you don’t have to. My goal is to unearth the most comedy and outright silly things people are wearing in the name of fashion. I’m hoping this will be a helpful and fun exercise, something to cheer up your weekend!
Exhibit A
As seen above, it almost needs no caption at all, it’s self-explanatory. What bothers me most about this Y2K fashion revival is the denim, unsuccessfully brought together by that monstrous blue tie. The earrings are interesting, the glasses eh, but oversized. jeans under an oversized skirt? Perhaps I’m missing something, but this is a fashion disaster.
Exhibit B
Among the list of potential apocalypse outfits, this Bigfoot-inspired ensemble ranks dead last. Let's hope it never catches on. Whatever the intention, one thing is clear: this ensemble is a prime example of fashion gone wrong. It serves as a reminder that while experimentation is commendable, some boundaries should never be crossed, especially when it comes to channeling mythical creatures for inspiration. Whoever dared to don this monstrosity was leading the charge in embracing fashion's newfound obsession with the 'ugly.' But seriously, let's not make this a thing.
Exhibit C
My God. Cowboy hats, okay here we go.
Cowboy hats have earned their reputation as tacky accessories for a few reasons. Firstly, their association with Western stereotypes and outdated notions of rugged masculinity. The cowboy hat's transition from practical workwear to fashion statement has sometimes resulted in exaggerated or caricatured versions that appear more costume-like than stylish.
Thanks to Beyonce, the sudden surge in popularity of the cowboy hat is often seen as an earnest embrace of Western culture or heritage. But, as with all trends, commercialization risks diluting the hat's authenticity and significance, relegating it to a mere accessory devoid of its historical roots. They belong in films or on actual farms. When worn to go get a coffee or stand out during fashion week, they act as a gimmicky fashion statement rather than a thoughtful expression of personal style. Stay away from cowboy hats, please.
EXHIBIT D
This pink sleeping bag, seen on Margo Robbie at the 2024 SAG Awards yesterday, was meant to look like a this:
She stepped out in a rare (lost) couture number from Schiapareelli’s fall 2020 collection. It was considered lost because Daniel Roseberry, Schiaparelli's designer :
“Presented this piece (and the rest of the collection) as watercolor sketches due to production limitations surrounding the COVID-19 pandemic. He was stuck in America, while the rest of his team was in lockdown in France. “Instead of the Place Vendome in Paris, it’s been designed and sketched on a park bench” - February 24, 2024, W Magazine
The sketch is beautiful, and don’t get me wrong, I love Schiaparelli. But I think the execution was a bit disappointing. Did no one on their design team think something looked off? Perhaps opting for a fabric that didn't scream "down-comforter" would have done justice to the watercolor sketch. Very often in fashion, bigger and louder isn’t better. At least in my opinion.
FASHION REPORT FINDS
To sum up our exhibits from A to D: let's steer clear of any bizarre Y2K-inspired denim disasters, say "no thanks" to Bigfoot-sized shoes, give cowboy hats a pass, and veto any fabric that resembles a sleeping bag. That’s enough fashion death for this week. I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Fatally Yours,
Betsy