The Burn List : Fall 2023
A list of fashion things that will never make you feel smart, sophisticated or confident
Dearest Subscribers,
Fashion is a personal choice, a psychology, a rollercoaster of emotions. It’s the reason why trends come and go. However, there are just some things that should stay in the past. As a healthy, mind-cleansing exercise, I’ve compiled a few trends that should be set on fire immediately. Some of these things are self-explanatory, but feel free to disagree with me.
Let’s have some fun with it.
#1 Cargo Pants: Can we just stop it with the cargo pants? How many pockets do we need? Are we carrying actual maps or compasses?
I’ll admit, I had a pair of cargo pants when I was 13. I felt very cool for a second, then I realized I had a purse.
Originating in the 1930s, cargo pants were initially designed for British military forces, featuring multiple large pockets to carry essential gear during warfare. Their durability and practicality soon caught the attention of the United States Armed Forces, leading to the adoption of cargo pants as part of the military uniform during World War II. The distinctive large pockets on the sides were not just a style choice but served a crucial purpose, allowing soldiers to carry ammunition, maps, and other equipment conveniently. A functionality that, regrettably, civilians rarely find themselves in need of.
In the subsequent decades, cargo pants transitioned from the battlefield to civilian fashion. The 1990s marked a significant turning point for cargo pants as they became a staple in casual wear, symbolizing a blend of comfort and utilitarian style. Sadly, the fashion industry embraced the cargo pant, incorporating various fabrics, colors, and styles to cater to a diverse audience. Enjoy this lovely example :
If you feel you can’t do without your extra pockets, I’d recommend getting a hold of the print copy of the vintage cargo pant seen above.
Burn.
#2 Long Denim Skirts
Denim was not meant for long skirts. Doesn’t it feel weird? Loud maybe? All that heavy fabric flapping around every time you walk. Would you use denim as a tablecloth? No, because it’s meant for jeans, jean jackets and maybe to patch other jeans with holes in them.
Burn.
#3 Growing Caterpillars or Overemphasizing Eyebrows.
Self-explanatory. There have been some notable eyebrow trends from the early 2000s to the early 2020s. As a millennial, I’ve lived through the thin, super arched, full, fluffy and now I just leave my eyebrows alone. I pluck when necessary. I don’t want to draw too much attention to them. We’ve all been guilty of over-plucking, but caterpillar harvesting is where I draw the line. When leaving the house, or jumping on a Zoom, make sure you don’t look like this:
Burn. Well, don’t burn them off just, well you know what I mean.
#4 Bear Shoes, Uggs.
I can hear you gasping. You might hate me right now but yes, fashion needs to do away with Uggs. I want to like them, they are warm and go with everything that shouldn’t be worn out in public.
The Blue Mountains Ugg Boot company in New South Wales is credited with the earliest commercial manufacturing of these boots in 1933. Subsequently, in the 1950s, Frank Mortel established the Mortel's Sheepskin Company, which remains in operation to this day. Interestingly, his wife was not a fan.
“Frank Mortel claims that he was the first to name his company's boots "Ugg boots" in 1958 after his wife commented that the first pair he made were "ugly."
Frank’s wife was absolutely correct.
In the late 1970s, UGG boots gained popularity beyond the surfing community and became a symbol of relaxed, California beach culture. The brand caught the attention of Brian Smith, an Australian surfer, who founded the UGG Holding Inc. in 1978. Smith brought UGG boots to the United States, targeting the surf and ski communities.
UGG boots surged into mainstream popularity during the early 2000s as celebrities flaunted them, prompting the brand to diversify its product range with a myriad of styles and colors. The hallmark features of UGG boots encompass their utilization of sheepskin, ensuring a soft and cozy interior, and a blend of both natural and synthetic materials.
Despite their initial association with a laid-back, beachy aesthetic, UGG boots transcended into a global fashion phenomenon. Regrettably, they've garnered acclaim for their comfort and insulation, particularly in colder climates. Nonetheless, the brand hasn't been without its share of controversies, sparking discussions about its visual appeal and ethical considerations regarding the use of sheepskin.
Burn.
I hope this list was helpful. Did I miss anything? Let me know. May the fashion gods be with you.
Fatally Yours,
Betsy Cohen
